glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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