ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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