I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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