The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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