I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
