Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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