I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
