Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
