she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He? As in you personified your dick?
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If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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