how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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