Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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