When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize