something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
