why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
