Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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