Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
