Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
