I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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