p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
