is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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