whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
