If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
