FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
