But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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