Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
