Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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