The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
