You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
