I wanna bring you to show and tell
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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