I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
