A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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