Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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