Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Panties = found
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