Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
