I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
