I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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