I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
