Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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