I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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