Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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