I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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