No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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