yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
