the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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