I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize