don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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