how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
