Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
