hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
