I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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