I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
