just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
