i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
