toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
