when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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