the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
