why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
