And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
