I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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