Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
