So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
