Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
