I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
