look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
