Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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