Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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